Wish You All The Best....

How to handle this longing??? :) i have no way to release this.... maybe still this way i choose.. telling and sharing my feeling here... One face of a little angel...stay in my mind nowadays... I was dreaming him these recent nite...My heart still so warm when i look at his face for so long time. But now, even i couldnt tell his short name here...for some reason... how restlessness this heart...my pagalness still too alot, my desire start to arise... I am still falling in love with that face... His pure smile, his chubby cheeks, his lil body, his voice and even i imagine his fragrance. I feel him in my hugs, I wish i could kiss his chubby cheeks, caressing his forehead, looking at him silently when he is in tight sleep, dance with him with slow hindi song, Make him feel comport in my arm and then sleep deeply in there... He still can do a magic on me anytime i see his pics, anytime i remind his voice... And he still like as remedy of my sadness. Looking at his pic made my imagination

Let me Alive For Once More Again. hmmm, this poem and story, i mixed while thinking about Kal Ho Na Ho movie. A Sacrifice in love. Well, actually i didnt wanna talk about that, this posting i made for my next plan about mini novel i wanna write. I already choose a title, some roles who will play in this novel, a setting place, weather and so on. But unfortunately i lost my darkness sense. This sense often i use to explore my sadness. Maybe because nowaday i play too much with funny things :S so, when its needed i lost it and it make me stuck in one page in many hours :| Huufft. Like as this Let Me Alive For Once More again story, i wish it was so sad story, but seem it doesnt have a soul :( i lost the soul of my story. why this sense gone upon me? i really only can post something about reality well nowadays, but really hard to explore the darkness side of me :( though many sad stories i read too :S oh...Stranger... give me back my soul :( why u taken it too ??? :O :s A message to Aisha

This discussion just happened some days ago with my room mate, not a discuss actually, we were doing argue each other and also debate. This debate happened while we wait for the final game of football where Indonesia face Malay. Suddenly, dont know why we talk about marriage and marriage life. This is about my thought and her thought, what we think about which one deserve or whice one no. Before it, i wanna tell here, a long time ago, when i was 22 years old, My Grand pa ever did an arrange marriage for me...hahaha, bit funny but it was happened too ago. twice. First time, GP told that someone already seen my pic, and feel interest. he is an employee where my GP worked that time. he came to my home, we met, talking just for 5 minutes and then i go in my home again. After that only Dad and my GP that talk with him. Then i go back to Jakarta, work again. no longer, 2 weeks after that, My mom called me, and said he refused u with bla bla bla reasons. but from my sister that heard convers

JZ... this name i found while loading my old posting. Someone who means too much for me, yeah, even still till now, though i no longer showed how i care about her. Just everyday, if i can i see her at there where i am still connect with her though just like as a statue in her list... but still i couldn't just away. JZ... one name that i wont ever forget how much i try to do it. even, recently i do much to hold my self. i do many stupid, freak and crazy thing. Deleted her number from my contact phone but then busy to find them out in my diary book and save them again. Make my credit balance in all of my number empty just to hold my self, to send her a message, to call her and listen her voice, to mail her by mobile, even also hold my self to leave her a message offline... I dont know i just do it for my self, to hold the fallen of my heart again, i couldnt bear it ...really can't. But i wanna do a confession here, she wont ever know even maybe she will think that i am lost in my

Hahahaha....what a funny favorite quotation :D I was found a friend request in facebook, and just look arround his profile, and i was laughing so loud after read his profile about his favorite quotation :D and he said : " When A Guy adds you on Facebook, It means He wants to be Your Friend, Not Your husband !!! , Thats why its called A FRIEND REQUEST NOT A PROPOSAL Don't be affraid to accept, He is not gonna eat You ... :D I was laugh too loud :P But then i just passed his friend request. hehehe, not for afraid reason actually for my rare time use my facebook account. But only 1 thing remain in my mind, is guy think like as that? when a girl doesnt accept his request???? hahaha, everyone has own reason for that actually, but maybe he used to think like that cause most of cyber girls he found like that,... hehehe.. who knows? only them who think like that know what they meant.

To The One.... Who showed me moon light, thank You... There is something i wanna tell you since too ago. Till now, i didnt tell you yet.. because... yeah, because there is many reasons. And The main reason is because i am afraid... If I tell it, what reaction will you give? will you accept my confession? Will You trust me? Will You still looking at me like this? Smile on me as today? Or you will keep distance from me? Leave me? But, i know i should tell it to you... I couldnt keep it forever. However your reaction after listen it, i just hope one thing from You... Don't go from me, Stay beside me... So, Can you stay to keep waiting for me? .... Ps. The sweetest from the sweet, when love still feel so smooth, everything looking so nice, whatever condition in it. longing will stay in the name of love though it just like as waiting without ending... Though It just love without getting, To One who showed me moonlight, Thank You... At one night, with Spring In London Novel, 2011 I wis

Hi... everyone...How are you today? ;) Hope everything goes well in your life... as well as me here, Alhamdulillah, well, this nite i just come to fullfill my promisse to someone that not permit me using his pic in my header, and ya, as a respect to him i ll remove for sure. sorry B, i didnt ask u before posted it here :) now, i had done what u want. Beside that, i wanna share a little review about RA.ONE, hehehe, its Shah Rukh's new movies that everyone said as the most expensive hindi movie ever made at India. Bit funny till finally i can watch this movie with my girl friends. Last friday we went to the teathre but the teathre was got fire because of something wrong with electricity till. At Saturday, we went there again, but it was closing cause still in repair. But today, after make sure by calling the customer servise of MOI, we go there, and finally we watched it !!! hehehe ;) Well, 1st thing, just wanna comment about the movie, not as much as i wanted to see, but also not ba

Hehehe, what a great day.... Assalamu'alaikum everyone... I feel today, am so beautiful... :P *who will praise mine if not me? :P :d* just reach office and remember 1 thing that yesterday i downloaded some great fashion. I am simply like to use a simple clothes everywhere, the important thing is that clothes make me enjoy and comfortable... and little bit wanna looking nice too...hihihi :P But yesterday, during browsing some article i found very nice fashion at facebook. Called it as kayra, This Kayra is one trademark of Turkish clothes, and it just so simply nice one when i look around. I think I am Falling in in love with its' style :D Simple, conservative, modern, tidy but still not acrossed "the limit" ..hehehe, here, i will posting some of Kayra collections. This time just for women. Hope you like them as much as me. I Plan wanna make some of them as my coveralls. but should to be slimmer..wuhehehehehe :p lets check it out... and happy day :) May Allah bless you

Bright beautiful morning, nothing running on my mind, but my head still busy with thinking that i cant realized what that is. My motorcycle run slowly, Wind that blowing slowly, making my scarf nicely. My face feel so fresh, foggy, misty morning, Street still so quite, suddenly i felt, deep in my heart feel so hurt.... but i don't know why it comes. I see a little girl, sleeping deeply in front of a book shop. her face still can smile though her body shivering cause of the cold breeze, without blanket, with old messy clothes. Come in my head....who is her mom? who is her dad? where are they? why she sleep at there... but even my head answer nothing... a bitter smile arise on my lips.. sudenly...tears fallen down... But Allah take care of her... Close to my motorcycle, i saw again a grand ma that too old, try to through...the street... i stop my motorcycle and asking her, "where you wanna go grandma?" ; she said : "I wanna go Depok by car but should walking cross thi

This moral story i got from my friend, she said she got some kind of this story from her friend's broadcast in Black Berry. Yesterday, i was talking with her about some matter and then she just shared this story, simple story but full of learning for them who wanna learn and learn about love, life, respect and build relationship... lets read and check it out... (It was in indonesian, i tried to translate it by english, hope not too different with the original story) "It was a family, Dad, Mom and 3 kids, just simply family. a story go on.. one of their kid telling this story... "20 years went away, but still i remind that nice memory... Once upon time, Mom that woke up since morning, working hardly whole day, arrange home, cleaning, without servant. It was 19.00 Pm, Mom prepare a simply dinner for us, Dad, me and my brother with omelet, fish fried, anchovy chili sauce, and rice. But because of my lil sister cry, mom is busy to take care of her and forgot her cooking till

Today, I just wanna say... I am very happy... yeah... too alot happy... why? getting something in my life? i think more than that.. Its about my interesting in writing. Yeah, I like to write since long time ago, or even since am in in my mom's pregnancy...hehehe, :P Talking about writing, its mean also about this blog, actually, most of commentator in this blog is my friends that know me, know who i am and what happen with me, yeah, so, when i wrote something that they felt passed the limit then i will got "Special comment" but its ok, no problem above all. Once day ago, I found a website that so interesting for me, In this website, I found many writers, and they write everything they wanna to write to tell to share at there since religion matter, poem, short story even some article about sex. Many moral article i found too at there. Its impressed me, then without thinking too much, i joined it. Yeah, I wanna try my capability in that website, its a world wide writer webs

May i send a sigh today? :( something that so long time i didnt do.. My heart just feeling so pain. so deep pain. I need to relax my mind before go on this monday... I cant tell this to anyone and also dont wanna share by talking and then i just find my self become so worst.... I just wanna talk by this blog, writing... I dont know if this matter hurts me so much, this pain is more painful than other pain, more than a pain when Michael passed away, more than a pain when my parents got divorced, more than a pain when someone left me for a reason that i cant understand, more than a pain when another someone called me just a bullshit, and more than anything that hurting me in whole of my life... Its really so pain cause actually i cant pretend that i love her so much :( .... so much... But is she knowing it? is she felt it? My tears just fallen down anytime i remember all memories with her, her deep late night phone, our conversations, our sharing, her laugh, her crying even i was felt he

Like as the other days, days before yesterday... Not yet so manything i can share, also nothing i can write more...here.. sometime lost words, sometime just read my old posting. This nite, again, once more...its about nothing... just write what i wanna to write, just read what i wanna to read and listen what i wanna to listen. My eyes found some old conversation on yahoo, very nice talking...what a nite... some old songs since hindi to western songs, coffee, insomnia, this blog and old history chat... so many memorable moments that time. All goes start to play like as a movie in my mind.. Where are you now? where are they who said they love me? Time changes everything or maybe they are changing... and finally i feel ... Whats the meaning of Nothing lasts forever... Whats the meaning of All good relation cant stay good forever, I dont know what i do... it just a deep feeling i cant deny... like as dreaming without limit.. every year will remind me about everything... Sometime too afrai

Due to my busy days, i left a conversation with someone at Whatsapp, just few minutes ago can take lil free breathable. Not yet so fine, but talking with someone make last problem get bit light point. Actually, we can do nothing for that matter so we decide to be nothing without do anything. Vacuum, waiting, but maybe its the best way when we couldnt find another way,... I hope, I wish. Manythings happen last 1 weeks, many good things, many bad news, some sad things, some happy news. Actually everything is colouring these last 1 week. I dont know what to say without Alhamdulillah that i am still fine, i am still here, to share with you some stupid things, some benefit things and some freak things about me. This nite, suddenly my friend was playing an indonesian song with title "hanya cinta yang bisa" if translate in english it could be "Only Love that can do" .... i stopped typing document that actually still some sheets remain.. i like most when the reff of this so

Hufftsz "-__- ..... rasa apaan ini, rasanya pengen banget ku tendang, ku bakar, ku iris-iris sampai habis dan tidak pernah terlihat lagi. Ya, Allah, jangan buat aku lemah lagi. Sekian lama sudah kubiarkan diriku tenggelam dalam kehampaan yang ku buat sendiri, aku lelah dan aku tak kuat lagi menahannya. Bantulah aku melepaskan ini, Ya Rabb, karena hanya dengan kuasamu semua ini akan jadi tak berarti apa-apa. Ku rasa kini aku mulai terbiasa, memang benar kata seseorang, yang selalu mengajariku tentang makna cinta bahwa cinta itu give without expect, ask without demand, advise without order, Kini aku berani dan yakin dengan segala hal, aku belajar melepaskan dia dari hatiku, mungkin tidak mudah, mungkin banyak rasa sakit, tapi aku yakin aku bisa, seperti saat dulu aku mulai mencintainya, dari sedikit hingga tak lagi terbendung, kini aku akan berusaha, melepaskan dia dari hatiku dari yang tak terbendung menjadi sedikit dan kemudian sirna, bahkan tanpa meninggalkan rasa sakit. Mungkin

Talking about movies, one questions will appear. What kind of movies you like most. hmmm, manyones maybe will choose western or hollywood movies but since too ago when i was at high school, i choose Bollywood movies. i can say i am maniac enough about hindi movies, hehehe, any genre since drama, horror till action i tasted them all. And its still till today, but unfortunately since some years before i couldnt find any heart touching hindi movies again. Seem all going to be showing part of body movies... so sad.. but what to say... maybe thats for profit oriented. hhhh :( By the way, anyway bus way :D here, i wanna posted some very very fabulous hindi movies according me... my most favorite and every movies maybe already watched more than 3 times :P TAARE ZAMEEN PAR, one of hindi movies if i can say is "My Most Wanted" its telling about a child with dyslexia desease. This movie teach us to praise every children whatever their being, actually no one ask to be different but by l

Just today, this night, at this moment... let me sound out all of the missing that wanna blow up. By Pics, By poem, by writing, by song, by expressing... just today.. let me do it cause i dont know what will happen after to nite... Only one line smile that feel so bitter, with one question... is it forbidden to miss you like this? Is it forbidden to have love like this? Is it forbidden when i couldnt stop to thinking this nite? then.. just give me space to write it down here... No, i dont wanna weep cause you wont like it, And No, i wont disturb you with anything... cause maybe now, you are starting move on your life. I only wanna wish that You will stay stronger whatever happen in your life and May Allah grant everything you need in every mile you want, Amin :) Just today... let me write that i miss you alot till dont know how to tell it... by this that writing by anonymous.... I miss You..when.. I miss you when something really good happens Because You're the one I want share it

Words, Language, Talking, Speaking. Manyones talk about talking, tell when u are in sadness, talk to someone when u are in trouble, tell this and tell that, yeah, i like to discuss about sumthing than took silent way. My question is , is it really the best way? For me, maybe half in half, sumtime a talking can finish a problem but sometime, words are not enough to tell everything. I do too much talk and talk till in one line i felt so tired, and thats time, the best way is being silent. I start like this way finally, yeah, sumtime being alone, silent is the best way when words not enough to tell everything. 2 days ago, a friend call me by mobile, happy finally i can listen her laugh like as before, he tell manything and i listen and listen what she shared, sumtime we laugh loudly, sumtime tears wanna come down, hehe, she still like as before, always easy to make me cry. Sudenly, calling is cut. And she called again, oh, God, already 30minute, and only my story? Then, tell me ur story,

Muhammad, Alayhis salam Sat quietly in the evening His companion asked... "O, beautiful man, why do u sit here, grieving? " "My, Ummah, those who follow me... the future of their faith makes me worry till I cry.. My brothers and sisters in islam Will they be strong and carry on after I die? " The prophet stood silently and prayed His beard becoming wet as he cried for all his fears "Oh, Allah, don't let this nation fade.." As he pleaded through the night the earth arround him filled with tears "My, Ummah, those who follow me... the future of their faith makes me worry till I cry.. My brothers and sisters in islam Will they be strong and carry on after I die? " A stillness fell over the land companions gathered near to the Prophet laid As Ayesha, his wife held tight to his hand The Prophet spoke again before he passed away... "My, Ummah, those who follow me... the future of their faith makes me worry till I cry.. My brothers and

Jakarta... When I mentioned this word at 15 years or more ago, I will think what a wonderful big city. Yeah, actually after more than 12 years i live here, Jakarta really grow up than that time i arrived. All aspect in everything, bu t the ironic thing its seem like as Rhoma Irama's song, a little lyric of the song if i translated maybe like this " The whole country property, Only for its people prosperity, b ut my heart always wondered, Why life is not evenly The rich get richer, The poor get poorer, The rich get richer, The poor get poorer State does not belong to class And also does not belong to individu als And therefore do not arbitrarily Enrich yourself blindly" That song can showing us, what Jakarta look alike, i would like to say "Jakarta behind The Scene" Sometimes, its too funny, when one in another place, government still busy with build the city by manything and in another place face of poverty still arrround the world . In o

Mom.... when mention this name will always make my tears wanna burst out :) I am already more than 30 years old, but i am still account what have i did for her? It will be going to zero, empty zone, i am not a good daughter enough. Sometimes, When Yani telling about her mom, how she sent and pick her mom going and back to or from work place, i only have a bitter smile. Or when Naura telling about her mom, suddenly my tears will come down :) how great they are who can love their mom that much. I start live separately from my family maybe almost 13 years ago, even i got surprise by this sometimes, only can go home once in year, and calling my family when my worksheets being far from me. But My mom will always like that, she will call when i start to be busy and forget all the things arround me, its strange me sometimes, i have much time to be online on messenger, hahaha hihihi and talk with them who i didnt knew real but i often forget just to say "I LOVE YOU, Mom :)" Mom..That

Dark angel said.... "I have nothing to tell you though I have alot of things I wanted to share with you and to make you know about but now its time to say goodbye so why I have to say and why should I say?" Angela replied.... "I say goodbye when nite cant say me where you are, when noon cant tell me what you are..but ...should i say good bye when i dont wanna say that??" Dark Angel told again.. . "I say goodbye to every single memory come to my mind, Remind me of you, when ever it was and where ever took place . Goodbye yesterday and goodbye for past" Angela hum between blowing of wind... . "When i start my erasing button suddenly come ur beauty face with eagle eyes.. start remind me of your great manner and wherever place we used together, hand in hand with beautiful smile.. Yesterday.. no place to say goodbye..then my eyes start burning with the tears..." Dark Angel replied.... "And tears don't give up of my eyes , for stop sheding

Sun : Hi Moon Moon : Hi Sun :) Sun : How are you Moon? Moon : Alhamdulillah, Im fine Sun. Wat about you Sun? Sun : Am super B, Moon. Moon : Wah, nice to know that. Sun : Yeah, btw, why are you so faded now Moon ? Moon : hehehe, maybe because no you arround me, Sun...haha :P Sun : ooppss, whats that mean? u still stuck with that feeling Moon? Moon : hehehe, what to say Sun :D but it become ussual for me nowadays ;) Sun : You should do ur best and keep fine with that Moon :) Moon : Yes, I ll Sun. Dont worry about that :) Btw, You are looking so handsome today Sun? get something new? Sun : hahaha, No, moon, because am really truly mostly handsome actually :D Moon : Weks, over self confidence Sun : haha, who told? that u start to tell about that na? actually am busy with spring nowadays Moon, also half summer that coming sometimes, really make me stuck. Moon : I see, but you are looking so brighten with ur s

Dear Rain... Hi, Good morning Rain., already passed 30 minutes after mid nite... How are u today Rain? Its seemed so long time u dont come... What u doing there Rain??? Are u still watering some dry place? Or u are too busy with rain in u? I miss u Rain... If u feel that? If u know that? Or u like to dont care about that? But this is me Rain, writing something here to tell out my missing to u.. I miss ur softly fallen.. That comfort me to stay even running in u... I miss ur hard fallen... That bite my skin, hurting me bit, but washing my every sad things... Rain...dont u feel that i love you so? Or u still think that my love like as fake of fatamorgana at the dessert? Rain... Between my unsleepy nite... I just miss u... When rains really start to fall.. Around me now... Rain... I miss you...